Father, it is with a thankful heart that I write this prayer. Thank you for your presence in my life and the lives of all the people that I will have the opportunity to pray for. Thank you for your kindness towards me! Your presence brings me new life and a hope for the days to come, thank you, Father. Thank you for encouraging me in this moment to do “it,” this, afraid. My heart is smiling with pure gratitude!

Father, I ask that you forgive me of my sins that I have committed. For every sin by thought, word, or deed, I ask for your forgiveness. I’ll admit, there were times I knew I was wrong and that the propensity to sin was great. For that and the times unknown, I seek your forgiveness now.

I ask for the strength to accept your forgiveness! I ask for a renewed mind, a mind that will allow the Holy Spirit to reign in thought, action, knowledge, and results of an encounter with God. Father, as I submit to honesty, I want to express the matters of my heart. It is my deepest prayer that the Holy Spirit will translate the parts that I cannot make sense of.

There are days when it is extremely hard to trust you. Some situations occur as a result of my poor decisions, but I find that more than anything, life will create unfavorable conditions that make trusting you hard. It goes deeper than financial gain because you gave me purpose. My purpose that is pending fruition, requires resources that are solely dependent on a miracle. I cannot make it happen in my own strength; the awareness of this fact has never been ‘lost in the sauce’. I have always known.

Every time that I think I have figured out the process of waiting, I discover more intricacies. Religion taught me never to question God, but relationship taught me differently. I hate that the true identity of God is watered down to fit preference. It has caused more harm than good for the body of believers who have a  thriving relationship with you and are not bound by rules and doctrine that forces an idea of who you are through the lenses of people who may have never really had an encounter with you.

There are times when I have to remind myself that you are God, and you are good. Otherwise, I will find myself stressed, anxious, and depending on my own strength. Father, you have awakened my soul, spirit, and body to so much these past 8 months, so my desire to taste and see that you are good is heightened. I know you to be a God that answers prayer because you’ve answered my prayers countless times before. Yet, there are prayers that I have been praying about as it pertains to purpose in its entirety that have gone unanswered for years. Privately I pray for direction, provision, and wisdom to understand the knowledge I do have about this purpose you placed within me, yet the answer, the need, the miracle is still pending.

My frustration in this has been, why give me a gift without the necessary resources to fulfill my destiny IN the earth? Sure, there is so much happening in the world, but there’s still time to make impact, to inspire, and introduce God to so many seeking hearts. I have never been surer that we are living in our last days than I am right now, but it does not scare me at all. What does scare me is the constant pull of responsibility without the resources to get out in the field to work.

I don’t want to look to self-reliance anymore. I admit that I need you for everything. I thought about Jacob and how he wrestled with relinquishing his will to yours but at the moment he did, you recreated him. Divine purpose and provision were established at the moment he submitted a yes to you.

So, today, my currency of choice is Faith. I admit that I struggle to trust you when the calendar says one thing and your response seems distant. Today, I release worry, anxiety, and my will to strategize my next course of action “in case you take too long.”

Just as Jacob experienced a new identity, I believe I have also. These last 8 months have been transformative. I believe that in the same way you blessed Israel, you’ll bless me. You are the God of miracles, signs, and wonders. No matter how many times I wish to quit God all together, you remind me of my purpose that I am to fulfill in the earth. I am extremely grateful to feel differently about you now than when I started praying. I am thankful that a newness of thought is present and that I feel like I can still trust in your power to make it happen for my house, so that I can go and be the example I’ve been searching for in other people.

You are good. You are God. SHOW ME.

Reading about the God of the bible is inspiring, but I want the God of Brittney to show up. Show me! May  my faith make room for an abundance of grace, mercy, wisdom, favor, and love. I pray that the Holy Spirit will keep me from falling, failing, and flunking. I pray that Wisdom will find me worthy enough to dwell with me frequently. Bless my situation, anoint my whole life with oil, recreate and realign me with your purpose and provide divine provision so that I may bring your name glory.

I need to see that God is good. I need to experience the blessings of the Lord that will allow me to operate in purpose without planning a backup. I believe in the purpose that you’ve planted within me.  I believe that you are God, and you are good.

There’s still time. Please Father, blow my  mind! I denounce stress, worry, anxiety, and fear. I believe that every resource I need will make its way to me. I believe that I can call those things that are not into manifestation by way of the Holy Spirit. God do this thing for me so that I can go win souls for the kingdom. I trust you to answer my prayer. I know this prayer will inspire all of us to trust you again.

Father, we need to see both the tangible and intangible result of trusting you. My currency is faith, and my expectation is to see God. I expect to testify soon.

Thank you for the opportunity to express the matters of my heart in transparency. Thank you for the person that this will help too. I look forward to tasting and seeing that GOD IS GOOD.

Amen.

Reader, I pray you are encouraged. There’s still time.

Romans 8:26-28 MSG: Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Habakkuk 2:3 KJV: For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.